I never understood why my happiness is always short-lived. It really bothers me when I feel so great and then something comes along and makes me either super depressed, pissed off, or completely apathetic.
It always seems to happen when I'm either with my friends or when there's art I owe people.
Like currently, I feel really bad about not at least having a commission I owe someone at least sketched... It's been a month and I've made little to no progress on it. Every idea I've sketched out has come out looking like crap, and they weren't even worth showing to the commissioner because the sketches looked so fucking hideous...
I also feel horrible about not being able to control my emotions properly recently. I must have snapped at my best friend about fifty times when he was over on Wednesday. I feel horrible because I was having one of those "calm freak-out" (as I call them) episodes I've been having more and more frequently and I couldn't control it.
I've been feeling more and more worthless and the like lately and it's driving me insane. I can never seem to snap myself out of these "episodes" because no matter how hard I try, I just fall into a deeper depression and feel worse.
I'm horridly insecure and I need fucking help.
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